Here’s the REAL world for many autism families. . . .quotes from moms who are trying hard to keep everything together.
“Am I the only one who loses it? My son is eight. I try so hard to be patient but after asking him ten times to do something I start yelling. I just get so frustrated…anyone have advice?”
“It’s so hard and he’s incredibly smart so it gets even more frustrating. Sometimes I am at my wits end and I think I give him anxiety due to my yelling. Honestly, I feel horrible. I don’t think he does this intentionally. Then I feel even more guilty.”
“I get frustrated all the time too. I know he isn’t intentionally “not listening” the 12 times, but I still yell.”
“Same thing here. I get so tired of telling my 6 year old son something 10 times that I end up yelling and all it does is make it worse for both of us. It’s so hard to stay calm, but we must learn to do it for our kid’s sake and our sanity.”
“Same here. And then when I yell at him to stop doing what I asked him 3,567 times to stop, his response is “You’re so mean, you never want me to have fun, you hate me.”
“I’m on anti-depressants for anxiety. This has helped more than anything with my yelling and amount of patience.”
“Then I feel like a horrible mother because I know it isn’t his fault.”
I get it
I understand. Been there. I’ve reached that tipping point and I’ll bet most of us have encountered some situations that we choose to forget. But these moms are desperate.
But here’s the thing
Something has to change. I’m sure you’ve heard some variation of this.
“If you always do what you have always done,
you will always get what you always got!”
Here’s the truth
Something needs to change. If the adult (communication partner) does something different, the student’s response will change. It’s kinda like a physics lesson.
But here’s the problem
It’s called attitude. These moms need lots of help. But in order to change their situations, they need to commit to making a change in their own actions.
That’s hard to do
The patterns we develop over many years are hard to change. It’s like trying to go on a diet with a dish of your favorite candy sitting on the counter.
There are lots of options
These moms can learn some new ways to handle the challenging situations with their children. There is hope. In fact, many of the solutions can be quite simple to implement. But the most difficult part of the process may be learning how they need to change.