Autistic Students: Are We Teaching What They Really Need?

Autistic Students: What Happens When Our Teaching Doesn’t Match What Kids Really Need?

Question: Why do we keep teaching phonics to children who don’t yet understand what words mean?

Question: Why do we expect kids to sit still and focus when their bodies are begging to move?

Question: Why do we push reading and math goals when a child can’t yet get regulated enough to participate?

These are just a few of the questions that swirl around when I think about how we teach many neurodivergent learners—especially autistic children—in today’s classrooms.

This isn’t about blaming teachers

Educators work hard, often without the support or training they really need. And most are following a system that tells them exactly what to do and when to do it.

The trouble is… the system doesn’t always make sense.

Let’s start with phonics

Phonics is a powerful tool for many students. But what if a child doesn’t yet have the language skills to attach meaning to words?

What if they don’t understand simple cause-and-effect ideas like If I say this, you’ll understand me?

What if they can decode a word like cat, but they don’t yet know what a cat is?

For some children, especially those with significant communication differences, phonics instruction comes way too early.

It’s like trying to build a roof before you’ve poured the foundation.

Language—the ability to understand and express thoughts—is the base reading needs to stand on.

Another big question

Why do we keep requiring young children, especially those who are sensory-seeking or dysregulated, to sit still in a chair?

Sitting is not a prerequisite for learning. In fact, for many children, movement is the gateway to learning.

Their nervous systems are crying out for sensory input—jumping, spinning, bouncing, climbing—not worksheets.

When we make sitting the goal, we’re often fighting their biology. And in that fight, nobody wins.

And then there’s regulation

Self-regulation is the ability to manage emotions, behavior, and body states in a way that allows you to participate meaningfully in your environment.

It’s the foundation for everything else—communication, social interaction, learning. Without it, those higher-level skills just don’t stick.

So why is regulation so often seen as secondary?

We schedule academics first and put the “other stuff” into a few minutes of social skills time or a sensory break here and there.

But for many neurodivergent kids, learning doesn’t start until their bodies and brains feel safe and supported.

Here’s one more question

Why aren’t we using more visuals to help kids understand what’s expected, what’s happening next, or how to manage their day?

Visual supports—like picture schedules, first/then boards, labels, and written instructions—aren’t just nice extras.

For many students, visuals are essential

Visuals take the invisible (language, time, expectations) and make it visible.

That’s the kind of clarity that helps kids feel in control, even when the world around them feels unpredictable.

So maybe this is the REAL question 

What would it look like if we taught children based on what they truly need?

What if language came before phonics… movement came before seatwork… regulation came before academics… and visuals were used as the essential tools they are?

Not because those other skills don’t matter—they absolutely do. But because learning works best when the foundation is solid.

Maybe it’s time to step back and ask a few more “Why do we do that?” questions. Sometimes the answers might surprise us. And sometimes, they might just help us teach in ways that actually work.

P.S. If you've ever thought, “Why isn’t this working?” when it comes to behavior, this post might give you a fresh perspective. Sometimes it’s not the strategy—it’s the missing foundation.

P.P.S. Don’t forget—visuals aren’t just helpful, they’re essential. Especially when kids are overwhelmed, dysregulated, or just trying to figure things out.

P.P.P.S. I’m working on showing up more regularly on Instagram and Facebook—sharing ideas, tools, and encouragement for those supporting autistic and neurodivergent kids. Be sure to "Like" me there. I’d love for you to follow along!